I'm not sick!
by littlebluespacemoth
Summary: The Dark Lord is sick and Quirrell has to care for him


**Hey guys! This is another fic for the QLFC! As chaser number 3, I had to write about my OTP dealing with a physical illness, so I wrote about Quirrelmort. There is cussing though.**

**Prompts:  
****Write about your OTP dealing with a physical illness  
****(word) bench  
****(phrase) crystal clear  
****(word) coated**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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Quirrell sighed. He hadn't gotten much sleep the previous night because the Dark Lord was sick and he was up all night taking care of him. It was very unusual for the both of them because Quirrell didn't have any symptoms. His head felt fine and his nasal passages were crystal clear. Meanwhile from what he gathered the Dark Lord had a massive headache. He also was sneezing non stop and Quirrell just knew that the inside of his turban was coated with mucus.

However, just because the Dark Lord had symptoms did not mean that Dark Lord thought he was sick. He thought he was perfectly healthy and that Quirrell was just going crazy.

"I'm not sick, your turban is just dusty," was his excuse for sneezing, but Quirrell had just cleaned his turban the previous night.

"Achoo! I'm just a bit...dehydrated," was his excuse for the headache.

"Bullshit," snapped Quirrell as he began to pace back and forth across his room, "You have not had one sip of water in the past five months and this has never happened before."

"Watch your tone, potty-mouth," the Dark Lord said, "Achoo! Maybe its you who is dehydrated."

Quirrell snorted. "I know I'm not dehydrated."

"I don't believe you," replied the Dark Lord.

"I just drank two glasses of water!"

"Achoo! It wasn't enough," sniffed the Dark Lord.

Quirrell sighed. He awkwardly reached his hand around to the back of his head and did his best to rest the back of his hand against the skin where the Dark Lord's forehead should have been. The skin felt hot.

"You have a fever," Quirrell said when he pulled his hand away.

"You -achoo!- don't know that," argued the Dark Lord, "Especially since you used the muggle way."

Quirrell sighed again. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. "Watch, I'll take your temperature the wizard way." Quirrell picked his wand up off of the bench, muttered the incantation, and touched the tip of his wand to where the Dark Lord's temple should have been.

"Your temperature is ninety-nine point eight," said his wand after a moment or two.

"See, I- achoo!- I don't have a fever," said the Dark Lord.

"Uh, yes you do. Were you not listening?"

"Ninety-nine point eight is not a fever," scoffed the Dark Lord, "Achoo!"

"Yes it is! The average temperature is ninety-eight point six! You're one point two degrees over!" argued Quirrell.

"It's not that much...Achoo!"

"Doesn't matter, its still is a fever!"

"Not a bad one," sniffed the Dark Lord before sneezing several times.

"Maybe not, but it could get worse. You need as much strength as possible if we want to find the sorcerer's stone before the year is out."

"Achoo! Well, I suppose you're right, but its not like we can do anything. Achoo! We can't go to Madam Pomfrey or anyone else, and you're a rubbish healer. How am I supposed to recover?" asked the Dark Lord.

"We'll just have to do it the muggle way," replied Quirrell, "Drink fluids, get lots of rest, you know."

"I can't do something the -achoo!- muggle way!" exclaimed the Dark Lord, "My entire life has been anti-muggle! I can't just suddenly convert, what will my followers think?"

"Well they don't have to know. I mean, they don't know that you're even back so why would they have to know that you did something the muggle way?"

"Achoo! Can't I just go about my regular life and wait for it to go away?"

"Who knows how long that will take? You're lucky its Saturday and I don't have to be anywhere for the next two days, but come Monday I'll have classes to teach. I can't have you sneezing during the middle of a lesson, you'll risk being exposed!" Quirrell thought about it for a minute, "I could take a day off."

"No," sighed the Dark Lord, "Achoo! Then people will wonder why your taking a day off and they'll start to get nosy. Achoo! We can't have people getting nosy, Quirrell, I'm not getting exposed."

"I suppose that's true," said Quirrell, "So you see you have to try and recover the muggle way.

"Right," sighed the Dark Lord, "Achoo! Do you swear on your life you won't tell?"

"I swear," said Quirrell, "Now come on, let's go get some juice and then we can take a long nap."

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**Not really romantic, but they still are one of my favorite couples to write about. Well, leave a review and thanks for reading!**

**~littleblueweirdo**


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